Parent Observation Checklist

Read through the following list of behaviors and check off the items that apply to your child or family. Spotting any of these behaviors may indicate that your child is going through a rough spot during adolescence, or could be having a serious problem. Adolescent behavior can be confusing. If you have questions, consult your child's pediatrician, a mental health professional, the school, or any of the resources listed in the back pages of this guide.

___1. Drop in grades/less interest in school.  A slow decrease in the last six months to a year, or a sudden drop; dropping courses, or adding numerous study halls.

___2. Hangs out with different/new friends.  Adolescents don't change friends easily, so pay attention if there are suddenly new friends you feel uneasy about. These friends might be older, appear to be very accepting of your child, unusually happy or giddy, have different interests than your child, or talk openly about getting high.

___3. Shows emotional highs and lows where they didn't exist before.  Easily upset, emotional state changes rapidly, doesn't seem to be as upbeat.

___4.Is defiant toward established rules, rebellious, more argumentative.  Pushes limits at home and school, doesn't do chores and assignments, misses curfew.

___5. Is more secretive or isolated.  Lack of communication, phone calls taken in another room, vague about where he or she is going or who will be at the destination.

___6. Withdraws from family activities.  Withdrawn, doesn't want to be around family members, stays in room.

___7. Loses initiative/doesn't seem to pursue old interests.  Has dropped out of sports and activities. Less energy, sleeps more than usual, not as interested in old passions.

___8. Has many excuses or alibis.   Suspicious reasons for missing curfew, or not coming home at all; constant excuses.

___9. Has short temper, rigid defensiveness.  Becomes angry often, aggressive toward others, short fuse, poor impulse control.

___10. Demonstrates abusive behavior: Verbally or physically abusive to family members or friends.

___11. Parents feel manipulated, or student plays one parent against another.  You feel suspicious without evidence, but know something is being pulled over on you.

___ 12. You often worry about your child's problems.

___13. Takes extreme risks.

___14. Has been fired from work.

___15. Money becomes an issue.  Sells possessions, becomes obsessed with money, money spent without receipts.

___16. "Mysterious" phone calls at odd hours.

___17. Increase in school calls or notices home.  Calls regarding poor attendance, poor performance, poor attitude, skipping classes, chronic truancy.

___18. Has suspicious receipts.  Receipts for Visine, cold medicine, whipped cream; receipts from head shops (E-Lab, Ghost Dog, Skye High).

___19. Excessive use of eye-drops, gum or breath mints.

___20. Changes in appearance and hygiene habits.

___21. Has drug/alcohol items in room, backpack or car.  Papers, pipes, roach clips, bubblers, lighters, altered soda cans, OTC cold remedies, unrecognizable prescription medicine, empty liquor bottles, High Times magazine, etc.

___22. Eyes are bloodshot; pupils are dilated.

___23. Changes in clothing choices.  Wears clothing with drug or alcohol-related images. Wears a lot of black clothing. Doesn't care about appearance.

___24. Weighs more or less than usual.

___25. Changes in eating habits.

___26. Has frequent vague physical complaints.  Gastro-intestinal symptoms, headaches, chronic colds or respiratory congestion.

___27. Spends long periods of time in the bathroom.

___28. Smells of smoke/alcohol or smokes in front of you.

___29. Has short-term memory loss or blackouts.  Doesn't seem to remember what he or she would ordinarily recall.

___30. Home liquor supply depleted or diluted; prescription drugs missing.

___31. Valuables disappearing from home.

___32. Drives or rides with others under the influence.

___33. Has been caught stealing from family, relatives and friends.

___34. Comes home drunk or high.

___35. Avoids parental contact upon arrival at home.

___36. Takes parent's car without permission.

___37. Has large amounts of money.

___38. Shows a strong interest in drugs.  Argues for legalization or marijuana; draws drug-related images (420, marijuana leaves); does research about growing, smoking marijuana, using other drugs.

___39. Openly admits to using alcohol or drugs.

___40. Has been expelled from or has quit school.

___41. Has been arrested.  Arrests due to mischief, such as vandalism, shoplifting, trespassing.

___42. Is preoccupied with drug culture.  Has strong interest in Phish, Grateful Dead, '60s and '70s music with drug references.

___43. Has drug-related AOL IM screen names or images.  Drug references on MySpace or Facebook or similar online "social networking" sites.

___44. Is interested in parents' history of chemical use.

___45. Has a family history of alcoholism or chemical dependency.

___46. Appears depressed or has a family history of anxiety, depression or other mental health problems.

___47. Has been diagnosed with ADHD.

___48. Has an alcohol or drug-related arrest.  Arrests such as possession, sale, DUI, DWI.

___49. Has had involvement with the legal system.  PINS, juvenile detention, probation.

___50. Continues to use despite medical contraindications.

Interpretation of Scores

0-15

Low risk. Discuss your observations with your child. Continue to monitor activities and behavior, and network with parents of your child's friends. No formal intervention is probably necessary at this time unless you see specific drug-related symptoms. Many normal transitions of adolescence may look like items on this list.

16-20

Your child is in the "need to rule out possible use" category. Your child is now having difficulty managing his or her environment and responsibilities. Urine analysis and formal evaluations are a good idea. Behavioral data such as school attendance, performance and behavior could add up to formal concerns about health, psychological or alcohol and drug problems.

21-30

Your child has begun to show a cluster of the hallmark behaviors that indicate possible substance abuse or a severe psychological problem. Close monitoring of peer interactions is warranted. Substance abuse should be ruled out via a professional assessment including urine analysis, and a general check-up to assess physical and mental health. Individual and family counseling may be needed.

31+

A score this high generally indicates there is a strong possibility that your child is very involved in substance abuse, and has been for some time.

Run, do not walk, to a chemical dependency center for evaluation and treatment. Also ask your pediatrician to perform a witnessed urine or blood test and general physical exam.

Do not be afraid to snoop through personal belongings or your child's computer messages, and monitor their correspondence carefully.

Questions for Parents

___1. Do you and your spouse frequently disagree or argue about your child's behavior?

___2. Have you ever tried to cover up or excuse your child's behavior instead of discussing the situation with your friends, relatives or school personnel?

___3. Do you feel frustrated because no mater how hard you try, nothing seems to change your child's behavior?

___4. Do you feel relieved when your child leaves the house?

___5. Do you feel anger, or a general dislike for your child?

___6. Have you tried to change your behavior in the hopes that it would cause a change in our child's behavior?

___7. Do you give money to your child without your spouse's knowledge?

___8. Do you fear that your child might injure him/herself or others?

___9. Do you bargain with your child in an attempt to change behavior?

___10. Do you feel heartsick because you have had to compromise your own values or lower your expectations concerning your child?

If you have answered "yes" to any of these questions it's time to seek the advice of a professional. There are a number of good resources listed in the back pages of this guide.